Separation anxiety in dogs: 7 treatments compared (and why most of them fail)
Most separation anxiety treatments fail for the same reason: they target the being alone, while the problem is the stress that starts before you even leave. A dog with separation anxiety produces stress hormones the moment you pick up your coat and your keys, and a stressed brain cannot learn that being alone is safe. Any method that ignores, raises, or merely masks that stress therefore makes the problem bigger, however logical it sounds. Below are seven common approaches side by side: what each does to your dog’s stress, and what does work.
In short
A closed crate, punishment, ignoring, and “tiring him out” all raise stress. They belong on the list of things you do not do.
Radio on, curtains closed, and a fixed minute schedule are not harmful, but they solve nothing while the cause remains.
A second dog and medication sometimes help, and only as part of a plan, never as the plan itself.
What does work: determine the cause (attachment, boredom, or frustration), first lower the stress in daily life, then build up in seconds, below the line of what your dog can handle.
Whether your dog is already tense before you go out the door shows in his body language. You learn to read it in the free webinar.
Seven methods side by side
Method | What it does to the stress | Does it work? | Our verdict |
|---|---|---|---|
1. Closed crate | Removes freedom of movement, temperature regulation, relieving himself, and social contact all at once; raises stress and is named as a cause of separation anxiety | No; at best it keeps the damage contained | Never. A safe spot with an open door, yes |
2. Punishment on arriving home (for chewing or barking) | Adds fear of you on top of fear of being alone; destruction is self-soothing, barking is a call for help | No, it gets worse | Never |
3. Ignoring on departure and arrival | Does not solve the need; a frustrated dog who is ignored moves into frustration barking | No | No. Leaving calmly and coming home calmly is not the same as ignoring |
4. Tiring him out (throwing a ball, running next to the bike) | Chase games deliver a burst of stress hormones that need 5 to 8 hours to break down; tired is not relaxed | No, it feeds the vicious circle | No. Sniffing, chewing, and treasure hunts, yes |
5. Radio on, curtains closed, minute schedule (one minute longer each day) | At best takes away triggers; the schedule regularly steps straight over the dog’s limit | Rarely on its own | Only as a support alongside a real approach; the buildup in seconds, not in minutes |
6. A second dog | Only helps a dog who mainly misses company, not one attached to you; two stressed dogs amplify each other | Sometimes | Do not buy one as a solution; only if you want a second dog anyway |
7. Medication or calming supplements | Can temporarily dampen the stress system so your dog becomes ready to train | As a bridge, with your veterinarian | Only in consultation with a veterinarian, always alongside behavior work |
What does work: cause, stress reduction, buildup in seconds | Lowers the baseline stress first and then builds up below the limit | Yes, with patience and guidance | See below |
In summary: a closed crate, punishment on arriving home, ignoring on departure and arrival, and tiring him out with chase games do not work and often make things worse; radio on, curtains closed, and a minute schedule are at best a support; a second dog only helps if your dog mainly misses company; medication can be a bridge in consultation with your veterinarian, always alongside behavior work. What does work: address the cause and the baseline stress first, then build up in seconds below the line of what your dog can handle.
Why the popular methods fail
The crate. It sounds safe: if he is in the crate, he cannot destroy anything. But a closed crate removes too many natural needs at once: choosing a cool or warm spot, being able to relieve himself, moving, social contact, good REM sleep. That raises stress, and in our practice crate use is named as one of the possible causes of separation anxiety developing in the first place. A crate with a door that genuinely stays open, that your dog can walk in and out of himself, is fine. Why a crate is generally not a good idea is in Crate training a puppy: why we advise against it.
Punishment. Destruction is usually self-soothing (chewing releases calming hormones) and barking or howling is a call for contact. If you come home and get angry, you lay fear of the owner on top of fear of being alone. The dog cannot help it.
Ignoring. The advice to ignore your dog completely on departure and arrival comes from the idea that attention rewards the fear. Fear is an emotion, not a behavior; you cannot reward it. A dog who barks out of excitement and gets ignored moves into frustration barking, and frustration is one of the three causes of separation anxiety. Leaving calmly and coming home calmly, without drama, is something entirely different from ignoring.
Tiring him out. “A tired dog is a good dog” is precisely backwards with separation anxiety. Throwing balls, running next to the bike, and agility trigger the hunting instinct and deliver a burst of adrenaline and cortisol that needs 5 to 8 hours to break down. Exhaustion is not the same as fulfillment. Calming activities do what you were hoping for: sniffing (the heart rate drops), chewing (about half an hour a day, not on an empty stomach), and treasure hunts.
The minute schedule. “Yesterday he managed five minutes, so today it is six.” This is the single most common mistake we see. With steps that are too big, the dog is overwhelmed again and learns: see, being alone is miserable. The problem grows instead of shrinking. A buildup works in seconds and is adjusted every day to what your dog can handle that day. What that looks like is in Separation anxiety training plan: why standard schedules fail.
The second dog. Only useful if your dog mainly misses company. If he is attached to you, he stays in panic, now with a second dog beside him picking up the stress. With excessive attachment to one person or to another dog, the opposite is what helps: spreading the care tasks and regularly letting the dogs do enjoyable things separately.
Medication. For a dog in real panic, a veterinarian can temporarily dampen the stress system so he can learn again. That is a bridge, not a destination: without behavior work alongside it, the fear is still there the moment the medication stops.
What does work: the order
Determine the cause. Attachment (panic the moment you leave), boredom (the need is enrichment), or frustration (he wants to come along and cannot). Often a combination. The rule of thumb: if your dog shows behavior he does not show when you are there, and he does not settle, that points toward separation anxiety. Which symptoms go with it is in the pillar article Separation anxiety in dogs: symptoms and approach.
Rule out pain. With problem behavior there is often a physical cause in play. Have your dog thoroughly checked, including by someone who knows the musculoskeletal system.
Lower the stress in daily life first. Sleep (12 to 16 hours a day), a safe haven, predictability, freedom of choice, sniff walks, chewing, no chase games. Only with a low-stress brain can your dog learn that being alone is not frightening.
Keep an activity diary. Note per day what your dog did and what tension level you saw (green, orange, red). That shows you which moments create stress and when a training step was too big.
Build up in seconds, below the limit. Stand up and sit down again, to the door and back, through the door and back, 5, 10, 15, 30 seconds. If your dog is already showing stress while you walk to the door, the step has already failed and you go back.
Do not leave your dog alone in the meantime. Every time he is alone in panic, he practices the panic. Arrange care or a sitter for as long as the buildup runs.
Do it with guidance. Fear of being alone and separation anxiety are extremely hard to solve on your own, which is why the buildup works best with a separation anxiety coach who adjusts it daily.
From our practice
The question that comes in most often to the coaches we work with is about a schedule found online: radio on, curtains closed, one minute longer every day. The answer is the same every time. Closed curtains and quiet music can take away triggers, but the schedule almost always steps straight over the dog’s limit. In our approach the buildup is not the same every day: you monitor daily and adjust to the body language. More than 30,000 dog parents have taken a Stressless Dogs course, and in our coaching work we have seen dogs who, after roughly three months, could again spend a couple of hours alone in a relaxed state. That is an illustration, not a promise; what is certain is that simply leaving him alone and hoping he adapts does not work.
When to get help
With real panic (frantic barking or howling, damage to doors and door frames, injuring himself, not eating or drinking), you stop leaving your dog alone and start working with a professional. Look for someone who works without punishment, looks at pain and stress first, and adjusts the buildup daily. The wrong approach can lead to apathy or fear aggression.
Frequently asked questions
Can I use a crate so my dog does not destroy anything while I am gone?
We strongly advise against a closed crate: shutting him in removes too many needs at once and raises stress. A crate with a door that genuinely stays open is fine. The destruction itself is usually self-soothing out of tension, not disobedience.
Does leaving a radio or TV on help against separation anxiety?
It can mask sounds from outside and so take away triggers, but it does not solve the fear. Use it at most as a support alongside a real approach.
Does a second dog help against separation anxiety?
Only if your dog mainly misses company. If he is attached to you, the panic stays, and a second dog often picks up that stress. Never buy a second dog as a solution.
How long does it take before separation anxiety is over?
That differs per dog and the approach is adjusted daily. In our coaching work we have seen dogs who, after roughly three months, could spend a couple of hours alone again; that is an example, not a guarantee. Without analysis and stress reduction up front, it takes longer in any case.
Sources
de Assis, L.S., Matos, R., Pike, T.W., Burman, O.H.P. and Mills, D.S. (2020). Developing Diagnostic Frameworks in Veterinary Behavioral Medicine: Disambiguating Separation Related Problems in Dogs. Frontiers in Veterinary Science, 6, 499. Distinguishes panic, frustration, and boredom as different forms of not being able to be alone.
ASPCA. Separation Anxiety. The signs of separation anxiety, why punishment does not work, and why you build up in small steps.
Read next
Separation anxiety in dogs: recognizing the symptoms and what to do about it
Separation anxiety training plan: why standard schedules fail and how to build it up instead
Sudden separation anxiety in older dogs: why your dog can no longer be left alone
Crate training a puppy: why we advise against it and what works instead
Start with what your dog is already telling you
The yawn when you pick up your coat, the tongue flick when you stand up, the paw that lifts at the door: your dog tells you well before you leave that this is getting tense. Read that, and you know exactly where the limit sits and how to build up underneath it. You learn to recognize those signals in the free webinar on communicating with your dog.
Want to work through the communication underneath it step by step? That is what we do in the Stressless Communication Course, and you can compare notes with other dog parents in our community.
Thank you for reading, on behalf of me and all the dogs.
Dog Behavior Consultant & Natural Dog Trainer